DC Trawler

I Am Publicly Endorsing Bernie Sanders For President

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There are a lot of potential candidates in Election 2016 who aren’t Hillary Clinton, but only one can be the funniest.

Scott Greer:

Independent Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders, a self-proclaimed social democrat, is set to announce his candidacy for the White House on Thursday, The Huffington Post reports. Sanders, while not a declared Democrat, caucuses with the party in the Senate and is planning to make his run in its presidential primary.

Sure, Bernie is a nutty old communist, but at least he’s honest about it. He wants to involve the government in every single aspect of your daily life, and he doesn’t couch it in euphemisms. No, you can’t keep your doctor, even if you like your doctor. Too bad.

He also has awesome hair.

Sure, Sanders would be the oldest president in U.S. history, but he’d also be the first Jew. What, you should want these other baby-faced goyim?

Bernie ’16: For the Lulz!