Man Says He’s Not A Bank Robber, Because He Asked Nicely

Scott Greer Contributor
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One Virginia man may have concocted the best defense ever for robbing a bank: it wasn’t a crime because the money was asked for politely.

On Monday, the accused robber — Dominyk Antonio Alfonseca — walked into a Virginia Beach, Va. TowneBank with a friendly note in hand that demanded money from the teller, according to NBC News. It read:

“I need 150,000 bands right NOW!! Please. Police take 3 to 4 minutes to get here. I would appreciate if you ring the alarm a minute after I am gone….Make sure the money dosen’t [sic] BLOW UP ON MY WAY OUT :-)”

Alfonesca, who’s also an aspiring rapper, was so proud of making off with his heist that he decided to film his crime and post both the footage and his money-demanding note to Instagram. Unfortunately for this polite thief, he was nabbed 20 minutes after he left the bank.

Even though cops arrested with him a gym bag full of dollar bills and he posted the evidence for his crime to his own social media account, Alfonesca is adamant that he did no wrong.

“I went and I gave a note and I asked actually politely,” the friendly money grabber told the local NBC affiliate while stewing in jail. “A robbery is demanding, going and demanding something and taking the money or whatever like that. I didn’t do that.”

When pressed about the evidence he posted for all the world to see, Alfonesca claimed that was actually proof it wasn’t a crime.

“If it was a robbery, I don’t think I would videotape it, post the picture of the letter and do that all to come to jail.”

Alfonesca will have a chance to vindicate himself June 12 when he’s due in court for a preliminary hearing.