Black people can’t be racist against white people, because duh. White people are inherently racist against black people, for reasons that go without saying.
We all know these things to be true. Look into your heart (if you’re not a conservative and actually have one) and you can’t deny your intrinsic guilt or innocence, depending on what you see in the mirror. But it took our moral, ethical, and intellectual betters in academia to prove it’s true, using capital-S Science.
According to a new report released by the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, just “walking into or sitting in” a classroom full of white people is a microaggression in itself.
“Students of color reported feeling uncomfortable and unwelcomed just walking into or sitting in the classroom, especially if they were the only person of color, or one of a few,” stated the report, which designated the experience a microaggression…
The report, titled “Racial Microaggressions,” was based on an online survey of more than 4,800 students of color during the 2011–12 academic year, and it found more than 800 examples of such microaggressions on campus.
This is definitely a problem. Unfortunately, it’s probably not practical to ban white people from college campuses. So what can be done?
I will defer to America’s foremost racial healer, Cornel West:
— Medea Benjamin (@medeabenjamin) May 12, 2015
Not only is this a good idea on general principles, but it would solve the whole problem of pigment-based microaggressions on college campuses. Whenever a black person walks into a classroom, he and/or she receives a standing O. Any white student who refuses to thusly apologize is immediately expelled.
Works for me. It won’t cure racism, as long as accusations of racism = $$$, but it’ll make people feel better. Isn’t that what adult life is all about?