This Is David Letterman’s Final ‘Top 10’ List, And It’s Not What You’d Expect

Kaitlan Collins Contributor
Font Size:

David Letterman’s “Top Ten” lists were a fixture of his late night show. The recurring gag was one of his signatures, and during his reign he presented over 4,000 of them.

But rather than deliver the final one himself, Letterman retired early and let a slew of celebrities do it for him.

The category?

“Top 10 Things I’ve Always Wanted to Say to Dave.”

Here is Letterman’s final “Top 10.”

10. Alec Baldwin: “Of all the talk shows, yours is most geographically convenient to my home.”

9. Barbara Walters: “Did you know that you wear the same cologne as Muammar Qaddafi?”

8. Steve Martin: “Your extensive plastic surgery was a necessity and a mistake.”

7. Jerry Seinfeld: “I have no idea what I’ll do when you go off the air. … You know, I just thought of something. I’ll be fine.”

6. Jim Carrey: “Honestly, Dave, I’ve always found you to be a bit of an over-actor.”

5. Chris Rock: “I’m just glad your show is being given to another white guy.”

4. Julia Louis-Dreyfus: “Thanks for letting me take part in another hugely disappointing series finale.”

3. Peyton Manning: “You are to comedy what I am to comedy.”

2. Tina Fey: “Thanks for finally proving men can be funny.”

1. Bill Murray: “I’ll never have the money I owe you.”