DC Trawler

Bernie Sanders Stinks

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If you’ve ever suspected that the next President of the United States isn’t a big fan of personal hygiene, you are absolutely correct.

Here’s a tidbit from Grandpa Simpson Bernie Sanders today, ranting about his usual stuff to CNBC’s John Harwood:

You can’t just continue growth for the sake of growth in a world in which we are struggling with climate change and all kinds of environmental problems. All right? You don’t necessarily need a choice of 23 underarm spray deodorants or of 18 different pairs of sneakers when children are hungry in this country.

Damn right.

Hey, you. Yes, you over there. Why did you put on deodorant today? Come on, man, don’t lie to me. I can smell it on you.

Can’t you see all those hungry children? Don’t you realize you’re just a cog in a capitalist machine that makes money by cranking out products you want or “need”? Every time you freshen up those pits, you’re literally stealing food from helpless babies.

There should be a single, solitary, government-approved deodorant. Or better yet, none at all. Forget about all the jobs that the deodorant industry has created. Those people should be feeding the children, not just their children.

Right Guard needs to be left behind! Out with the Old Spice, in with the new era! BERNIE 2016!!!

(Hat tip: Free Bacon)