Former Texas Governor Rick Perry joined the 600 other candidates for the Republican presidential nomination this week. The gravest danger of a Perry presidency would be that Hillary will use some trite quip that Perry will then adopt as a serious policy proposal.
In 2006, Perry’s gubernatorial opponent, Chris Bell, explained his opposition to a border fence, saying, “building a 20-foot wall would create a giant market for 21-foot ladders, and that’s about it.” It’s an old joke — but at least Bell is an actual Democrat.
Suddenly, that was all Perry could say on the subject of a border fence.
— “If you build a 30-foot wall from El Paso to Brownsville, the 35-foot ladder business gets real good.” — Rick Perry
— “The 15-foot ladder business is going to get good on that 14-foot fence.” — Rick Perry
— The only thing a border fence “would possibly accomplish is to help the ladder business.” — Rick Perry
You know what business picks up when morons run for president? The big black frame “I’m Smart” glasses at Lens Crafters.
Say, why doesn’t Perry use that quip on Israel Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu? <Hey Ben! Show me a 10-foot fence, I’ll show you an 11-ft ladder! HAHAHAHAHA!> (Oh to be there when Perry finds out about gated communities!)
Since Israel completed a fence surrounding Gaza, not a single suicide bomber has gotten through. After Israel put a fence up on the border with Egypt, the number of illegal aliens dropped to — let me check my notes, here they are: Yes — Zero.
In January 2013, the New York Times, reported this “good news” — despite that paper’s usual hectoring about how fences don’t work. You can see a picture of Israel’s fence here. Against all predictions from American politicians, it seems to work!
While Netanyahu was arresting illegal aliens and putting them on buses out of the country, Perry was giving illegals in-state college tuition, making Texas the first state in the nation to do so.
Perry lectured Republicans unenthusiastic about this idea, saying, “If you say that we should not educate children who’ve come into our state for no other reason than they’ve been brought there by no fault of their own. I don’t think you have a heart.” I don’t think Perry has a brain.
By contrast, Netanyahu responded to complaints about detention centers for illegal aliens, saying, “The infiltrators who were transferred to the special detainment facility can either stay there or go back to their home countries.”
In other immigration news this week, the illegal alien who killed Chandra Levy, Ingmar Guandique, had his conviction overturned on irrelevant technical grounds. If we’d built a fence in 1999, Chandra Levy would still be alive and Democrat Gary Condit would still be in Congress. (You take the good with the bad.)
Guandique began attacking female joggers in Rock Creek Park at knifepoint around the same time Levy disappeared. The other joggers escaped alive and identified Guandique as their assailants. Levy’s murdered body was later found off a jogging path in Rock Creek Park.
Now that his conviction has been overturned, Guandique can apply to stay in this country as a “Dreamer.” He is just the sort of hardworking illegal immigrant Marco Rubio wants to make our fellow citizen. Guandique doesn’t speak English, has only a sixth grade education, beat his girlfriend in America and sent half the money he made from day labor back to his girlfriend and illegitimate child in El Salvador.
We are so lucky to have Ingmar!
He was able to attack female joggers in Rock Creek Park only because of a a temporary amnesty issued by President Bush. (Does that guy have any brothers? I’d love to see another one like him in the White House!)
Also this week, the following headline appeared in the New York media: “Man Admits to Having Sex With Girl, 11, Fathering Her Child.”
If you’ve gotten to Chapter Ten of ADIOS, AMERICA!, you will recognize some of the telltale signs of an immigrant perp:
1) The crime involves a uniquely perverse sexual assault, such as gang rape, child rape or incest;
2) The rapist is shocked that anyone thinks he did something wrong;
3) A woman is involved in the rape or the cover-up;
4) The rapist’s name would not be found in a phonebook from the 1960s;
5) Newspapers informatively refer to the rapist in their headlines as: “Man.”
We await further details on the child rapist, Jeffry Rosales, who has been residing in Brentwood, Long Island — coincidentally an illegal immigrant hotbed. For now, Rosales will be spending the next 17 years inside a fence. I’m not going to say how high a fence because then he’d know what size ladder to buy.
Ann Coulter is the author of the new book, Adios, America! The Left’s Plan To Turn Our Country Into A Third-World Hellhole.