DC Trawler

Don’t Say ‘You Guys’ Anymore, You Guys

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Vox.com, home of Ezra Klein, Matt Yglesias, and many other members of Jim Henson’s Pundit Babies, is at the vanguard of the wonderful new genre of “explanatory journalism.” The diligent Vox staff looks at the events and issues of the day and explains how you should think and feel about it all, if you want to get along with the important people.

If I may be so bold — and I certainly may — this is without a doubt the most journalistic explanation in the history of explanatory journalism:


I don’t know what Ms. Desmond-Harris’ argument is, you guys, and I don’t think it really matters, you guys. The word “guys” is self-evidently sexist, and you guys need to stop using it right now.

You guys.

But let’s not stop there, you guys. What about women who work at Five Guys? Are they now “guys,” you guys? No, they are not “guys,” no matter how many of them you guys put in the same room. The chain will now be called Five Individuals, you guys, or I’ll just start going to Dairy Queen instead.

And Pep Boys. What’s that all about, you guys? Pep People. Pep Humans. Pep Entities. Come on, this really isn’t that difficult, you guys.

You guys.

You guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys.

You. Guys.

(Hat tip: the ever-problematic Sonny Bunch, #smdh, you guys)

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Jim Treacher