The candidates featured here are surely not the only unknown candidates, but these men represent real opinions, real parties and real platforms — and they want to see the Oval Office from the president’s chair just as badly as the next candidate. Let’s take a look.
“For the youth, by the youth, to the youth.” Elijah Manley’s campaign slogan leaves nobody guessing- yes, he is only a junior in high school and is not eligible to be president of the United States. However, the law won’t stop this Ft. Lauderdale teen from achieving his dream of “bringing the revolution to DC.” For Manley, the “revolution” seems to be giving youths the right to vote at 16.
W. Knox Richardson
A Las Vegas-area poker dealer by day and a comedian by night, Richardson is the only 2016 candidate for the Helluva party, which appears to be satirical, since their party animal is an ungodly amalgamation of the two major parties’ symbols and their slogan is “on a mission from dog.” Ambiguity in the Helluva party is more of an adopted policy than a result of poor organization; their website welcomes visitors with “you may leave at anytime. Or whatever.”
Gregory A. Foster
So far the field’s only blind candidate, Foster states on his website that he’d “rather try and fail than fail to try,” a truly inspiring motto. Foster’s beliefs include the restoration of the Houston Astrodome, which he argues is the eighth wonder of the world and deserving of government funding. The candidate is staunchly anti-mudslinging and he vows to “immediately and publicly repudiate methods and tactics that may come from others, that [he has] pledged not to use or condone.” With no such condemnations on his site or Facebook page yet, he’s got a little catching up to do.
Hedges is the 2016 candidate for president from the Prohibition party and yes, they still believe alcohol is immoral and harmful economically for the country, which is ironic. They also oppose the government apologizing or paying reparations for past transgressions against the country, also ironic, since many people who were poisoned by prohibition-era “moonshine” or “bathtub gin” sued the government for reparations after the ratification of the 21st amendment in 1933. Hedges has a lot to overcome in his candidacy; in terms of bad publicity, nothing is much worse than a party’s platform failing after ten years of implementation in documented history.
Robert ‘R3dn3ck’ Macleod Jr.
Macleod is running as a member of the Ame party, possibly alluding to his hometown, Americus, GA, and, according to his campaign Facebook page, he’s true to his middle name. “Restoring Honor and Integrity Back Into [sic] DC” frames his cover photo, which is four bald eagles among snow-draped trees, and his proud southern heritage, gun ownership, and Christianity are easy to find when scrolling through the posts. Although Mcleod’s Facebook page seems like a niche haven for southern conservatives, his 12k likes (and 15k followers on his private page) could translate into valuable votes with the southern name recognition.
PS: Foster, here’s one more violation of your code.
PPS: Hedges, Macleod’s out to get you.