David Letterman, who retired from late-night television earlier this year, has reemerged and brought with him one of his most popular show gimmicks – the Top Ten List.
He appeared unannounced on stage in San Antonio, Texas, with comic legends Steve Martin and Martin Short. They are appearing around the country with Steve Martin’s band, the Steep Canyon Rangers, to do what they call “a Very Stupid Conversation,” Letterman wasted no time slipping back into his old routine.
Letterman said he was content to be retired until he’d heard Donald Trump was running for president. “I was complacent, I was satisfied, I was content, and then a couple of days ago Donald Trump said he was running for president. I have made the biggest mistake of my life,” Letterman told the cheering crowd. He continued, saying “Every suit I own comes with a Top Ten List,” Letterman pulled a piece of paper from his breast pocket and proceeded to read “The Top Ten Interesting Facts About Donald Trump.”
Some highlights are:
“That thing on his head was the gopher in Caddyshack.”
“Trump walked away from a moderately successful television show from some delusional bullshi…oh, wait, that’s me.”
“Donald Trump weighs 240 pounds, 250 with cologne.”
“That’s not a hairdo, it’s a wind advisory.”
“Donald Trump has pissed off so many Mexicans he’s staring in a new movie entitled ‘No Amigos!'”
“Thanks to Donald Trump the Republican is also an ass.”
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