DC Trawler

Pandas Just Can’t Take The Hint

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Look, it was funny at first, but everybody needs to knock it off already with the pandas. Just let them figure it out on their own. If they can’t? Hey, more room for the rest of us. That’s called evolution. What, don’t you believe in evolution? Don’t you believe in science?

Associated Press:

The 4-week-old giant panda cub at the Smithsonian’s National Zoo now weighs nearly 2 pounds and is starting to look like a panda — specifically, his dad.

The zoo says the cub weighed in at 1.9 pounds on Monday. That’s nearly eight times what he weighed at birth on Aug. 22.

Wow, he looks like his dad? What, is his dad a panda or something?

I don’t know if they’ve given this thing a name yet. Not that it really matters. We don’t need these stupid parasites leeching off us anymore. We’ve got CGI and Jack Black now. And unlike the real thing, movie pandas are actually entertaining. They don’t just sit around all day eating bamboo and crapping drywall. They serve a purpose.

Pandas are bums. Good riddance.