DC Trawler

Today Is #WorldRhinoDay, For Some Reason

Font Size:

Try to imagine a world without rhinos.

I know, right? If your nearest zoo didn’t have a rhino enclosure, you would definitely notice. “Where are the rhinos?” you’d ask. And then… you’d go find something else to do with your day, I guess. Get some Dippin’ Dots, maybe?

Please don’t let this happen. Don’t let this animal (which you wouldn’t miss if it went away) go away. Tweet the #WorldRhinoDay hashtag right now!


World Rhino Day will be taking place on 22 September 2015! People across the world will be showing their support for rhino conservation and the five rhino species by planning a whole host of fundraising activities and campaigns.

By working together on this day we can we can grab the headlines and let the world know we care about the plight of rhinos.

“We”? Speak for yourselves.

Look, it’s pretty silly that elderly Asian men think their useless, withered genitals will get a boost from some powdered rhino horn. (“Hey look, that thing looks like my penis used to. It’s worth a try!”) But they’re not hurting anybody, are they? Well, other than the rhinos. Who cares? They’re rhinos.

What has a rhino ever done for you? Any rhino. Any rhino at all.

Go ahead, I’ll wait.

No? Didn’t think so.

I’ll start caring about rhinos when they start caring about me. Besides, I’m all out of nail polish.


P.S. On the other hand… What do rhino steaks taste like? Are they any good? That’s the only possible reason I can imagine wanting to keep those disgusting beasts around. Fix me a rhinoburger with extra rhino bacon, and then maybe we can negotiate a reprieve.