Step 1: Find a place where white folks tend to congregate.
Step 2: Spoil their day because they resemble people you don’t like.
Of course, one place where white folks tend to congregate is called the United States of America. But that’s a lot of ground to cover, so the #BlackLivesMatter movement is starting to pinpoint some key areas. Mary Lynn Smith, Star Tribune (Minneapolis):
Four days before more than 11,000 runners line up for the start of Sunday’s Medtronic Twin Cities Marathon, the threat by protesters to disrupt the 26.2-mile race has some marathoners on edge about their safety, while others are angry that months of training could be jeopardized as they approach the finish line.
The St. Paul chapter of Black Lives Matter says it’s planning on “shutting down” the annual October running event near the finish at the State Capitol to raise awareness of recent incidents involving St. Paul police and people of color.
Why a marathon, of all places? See my first paragraph.
First #BlackLivesMatter disrupted brunch places, and now it’s marathons. A pattern is forming, and it’s becoming clear how this works: These clever, passionate activists are scrolling through Stuff White People Like and going, “Hey, let’s try this one!” You can’t shoot fish in a barrel until you find yourself a barrel.
If you want to know where BLM could strike next, here’s the full list of target-rich environments. If you enjoy film festivals, farmers’ markets, microbreweries, Whole Foods, or anywhere else white people gather so they can act all white and $#!+, get ready to be reminded of your privilege and why you need to check it.
No, no, don’t try to tell me you were “born this way.” Nobody wants to hear, “But I didn’t do anything!” That won’t cut it, whitey. You’ll take your scolding and you’ll like it.
Oh, and the winner of the marathon had better be a black guy. Fair’s fair.