DC Trawler

Obama On Confiscating Guns: Then And Now

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Clearly, he’s “evolved” on the subject. After all, back in 2008, nobody had ever shot anybody else in the history of the world. This phenomenon has only developed over the course of Obama’s two glorious terms in office, for some reason, and it’s about damn time he grabbed those guns you yahoos keep clinging to.

Umpqua Community College is a gun-free zone. Obviously, this shooting proves that we don’t have enough of them.

Once again, I call on President Obama to disarm the Secret Service. Make the White House a gun-free zone. Show everyone that we can make this world a better place if we openly declare ourselves to be utterly defenseless.

Oh, and pass more gun laws. Lots more gun laws. “We know that states with the most gun laws tend to have the least gun deaths,” said the Greatest President in History. Sure, this isn’t factually true, but it’s emotionally true. It feels good to say it. So keep saying it.

Ignore reality. It’s the only thing keeping us from achieving Utopia.

(Hat tip: Ed Driscoll)