DC Trawler

This Halloween, Everyone Should Dress Up As That Loser Cecil The Lion

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I’m not the biggest fan of Halloween, but it hasn’t been so bad ever since I installed the electric fence, gator-filled moat, and land mines all around my compound. The only treat those little rugrats are getting is a ride in an ambulance.

But a lot of people like the holiday and enjoy dressing up. Even adults. Even adults on TV!

Kaitlan Collins reports:

Ashley Benson is considering going as Cecil the Lion for Halloween, and she outraged the Internet when she shared a photo of her costume idea Tuesday.

The “Pretty Little Liars” actress originally captioned this photo, “Help! Can’t decide on my Halloween costume this year!” What do you guys thing of this Cecil the Lion costume?”


Remembering that her fan base is very stupid, Benson quickly took out the “Cecil” part. But not before triggering their dimwitted rage:

“Disgusting,” one commenter wrote. “Just shows how celebrities are brainless. Seriously f*** you piece of s***.”

Brainless? She’s smart enough to know that the only good lion is a dead lion. If Cecil didn’t want us to make fun of him, he shouldn’t have been born.

The heroic Dr. Walter Palmer defeated Cecil the Lion and showed the animal kingdom who’s boss. And now, not only is it acceptable to dress up as Cecil for Halloween, it should be mandatory. No other costume should be allowed, unless it’s a dead panda costume. Or some other animal I don’t like. Which is all of them. Halloween is a time to remind animals that they’re only here because we allow it.

Humans have the right to mock stupid, smelly animals, because we’re better and more important than they are.

Well, I am, anyway. But hey, you do you.