As my longtime readers know, there are very few animals I like: Mickey Mouse. Tony the Tiger. The Care Bears. Scooby Doo. Batman. And… um… Nope, that’s about it. Those are the only animals we need to keep around.
Did you notice kangaroos on that list? No, you didn’t. And the following is an excellent reason why, because kangaroos are the worst.
Thanks to Pete Blackburn at Uproxx for showcasing this clip of a couple of Australian golfers demonstrating why man is superior to the animals: We invented the wheel.
I don’t know what sorts of laws they have down there, if any, but it should be legal to kill a kangaroo if it’s chasing you. Or even if it’s not. Because yuck. Kangaroos are so bizarre and disgusting, even Australians are better than them.
I wonder what kangaroo meat tastes like? Other than the flavor of man’s dominion over the beasts of the field. I’d like to try it sometime. Those revolting monsters would kill and eat us all if they could, so I see nothing wrong with a preemptive strike.
Animals are dumb. Never let anyone tell you anything different.
(Hat tip: Sonny Bunch, who’s right about something for once)