The pampered students at America’s embarrassingly expensive second-rate liberal arts colleges are now attempting their own versions of the passionate protests over poop swastikas and reported racial abuse at the University of Missouri and the alleged slurs of “You filthy white piece of shit!” at Dartmouth College. Presidents at the schools are delighted to catch the flak.
At Occidental College in Los Angeles, a group called Oxy United for Black Liberation has pretended to occupy a campus building and issued a list of 14 demands, which includes “the immediate removal” of school president Jonathan Veitch and “mandatory” racial re-education workshops for all professors and employees.
Oxy United for Black Liberation also wants the “immediate removal” of the Los Angeles Police Department from the Occidental campus.
“We have 14 demands which include an increase of faculty and staff of color, umm, a black studies program, more funding for, umm, students of color to do more programming and room speakers. Umm, and so we want that by Friday,” Black Student Alliance vice president Mika Cribbs, dressed in a dashing spaghetti-strap camisole, told Los Angeles television station KTLA.
A few hundred protesting students moved from their posh dorm rooms to an administrative building for a festive slumber party that included sleeping bags and delivery pizza.
“We’re occupying all the hallways,” sophomore protester Olani Ewunnet told LA Weekly. “The staff is just walking over students.”
Late last week, Veitch, Occidental’s president, informed protesters that the fancypants school could not meet the demands of the privileged students.
“We simply can’t meet every demand on that list,” Veitch said, according to USA Today. “But I can tell you that I will honor the conversation. I do not cling to this job. I’m happy to resign.”
When they aren’t enjoying delivery pizza while pretending to occupy a campus building, Occidental students enjoy a glorious abundance of on-campus food options including “wood-fired pizza,” “pastas made to order” and “vegan entrees daily.” Saturday nights feature “a full buffet-style meal.” There’s an on-campus coffeehouse for “everyone’s caffeine and pastry needs” and a snack bar offering “organic smoothies.”
Occidental is, of course, most famous for being the school President Barack Obama once attended (before wisely transferring to Columbia University) and for expelling a male student for having sex with a female student who texted him “do you have a condom” and texted her friends “I’mgoingtohave sex now” [sic]. (RELATED: Professor At Obama’s First College Brands College Student Rapist Because He Got Good Grades, Played Sports And Was ‘From A Good Family’)
Meanwhile, all the way across the country on the campus of Skidmore College, school president Philip A. Glotzbach has vigorously urged students to saunter out of their classes in solidarity with protesters at Mizzou and other schools.
“Our community has made strides in increasing diversity, but it is clear that we are still far from realizing our ambitions in creating a climate that is fully inclusive,” Glotzbach sermonized in a recent email obtained by Campus Reform.
“[T]he specific intention is to disrupt our daily lives to reflect the ways in which the lives of persons of color are disrupted by acts of racism,” Glotzbach wrote of the Mizzou protest.
Glotzbach wants such disruption for his own fancypants school, he explained, as he offered support for a separate email from the Skidmore student government asking every student to leave classes to join an all-campus walkout to protest racism.
The garishly modern campus features a 54,000-square foot music center which is “aligned along a north-south axis” and “divided into two separate spheres of activity, with a wide, brightly lit glass atrium in the center.” The stage of the 600-seat Helen Filene Ladd concert hall — “designed to accommodate both a full orchestra and chorus” — features “a dramatic three-story-high glass wall overlooking nearby Haupt Pond.” There are also elaborate electronic music lab and piano labs.