DC Trawler

Apparently, Leonardo DiCaprio Got Raped By A Bear

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In his new movie, that is.

Animals are dumb, and I don’t like them. This is currently headlining the Drudge Report, and it does nothing to change my opinion:


Here’s what that’s all about, according to Roger Friedman:

Advance screenings of Alejandro Gonzalez Innaritu’s epic “The Revenant,” starring Leonardo DiCaprio, are producing all kinds of reactions, all wildly favorable, albeit with caveats.

The Fox movie, based on Michael Punke’s “novel of revenge,” takes place near Yellowstone, Montana, in 1823. It begins with the same bloody incident that launches the book– the gruesome attack by a grizzly bear on trapper Hugh Glass… The bear flips Glass over on his belly and molests him – dry humps him actually – as he nearly devours him. How [director Alejandro Gonzalez] Innaritu and DiCaprio did this is a movie mystery because it is as real feeling as Bruce the shark in “Jaws” 40 years ago. It’s as real looking as it could be, and maybe the most frightening moment I’ve seen in a film in eons.

Okay, so it doesn’t actually rape him. It just dry-humps him. Still doesn’t sound like a lot of fun.

And that’s all I’ll say about it, because there’s nothing funny about rape in any context. Even when the context is a movie about a bear kinda-sorta doing it to Leo DiCaprio. Do not laugh at that idea, or even smile, even if it’s to yourself.

I’m definitely not.