DC Trawler

Donald Trump: Rock-Ribbed Conservative

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A lot of low-energy losers are just jealous of Donald Trump — who is leading in every poll, by the way, doing very, very well everywhere — and they say you shouldn’t support him because he’s “not a conservative.” Don’t vote Trump, they whine, because he’s “changed his party affiliation 5 times since 1987.” He can’t be trusted, these nobodies babble like babies, because he’s “only in this for himself.”

Nothing could be further from the truth. Donald Trump cares deeply about the issues that concern you the most, and he always has. Let’s go to the tape!

Also, Mr. Trump’s fingers are of perfectly normal human length.

Jim Treacher