DC Trawler

Zimbabwe May Have To Kill 200 Lions Because Everybody Freaked Out Over Cecil

Animals are dumb. You know it, I know it, and animals don’t know it because they’re too stupid. Human beings are better than animals, which is why we have restaurants and they don’t. We’re at the top of the food chain, and it’s awesome.

Some human beings are almost as dumb as animals, though. They damage their own bodies and brains by refusing to eat meat, and they throw big crybaby fits when humans kill animals. That’s what happened when Minnesota dentist and American hero Walter Palmer bravely defeated a filthy lion (which humans named “Cecil,” but it doesn’t matter because lions are too brainless to understand the concept of names). Everybody completely lost their $#!+. Palmer was excoriated by millions of people whose only exposure to lions comes from Animal Planet and Disney cartoons. Jimmy Kimmel, who actually used to host something called The Man Show, wept like a little girl on national TV. It was a stampede of stupidity.

And now, here’s the result of their meddling with the forces of nature. Peta Thornycroft, The Telegraph (UK):

The outcry over Walter Palmer’s killing of Cecil drove other big-game hunters away from Zimbabwe, fearful they too would attract the opprobrium of the public. But in what is being described as a side-effect of the affair, Zimbabwe’s largest wildlife area says it now finds itself suffering from an overpopulation of lions.

Bubye Valley Conservancy has more than 500 lions, the largest number in Zimbabwe’s diminishing wildlife areas.

It has warned that its lion population has become unsustainable and that it may even have to cull around 200 as a result of what is being called “the Cecil effect”…

Bubye’s lions are decimating populations of antelope, along with other animals such as giraffe, cheetah, leopards and wild dogs, after the driest summer on record kept grasses low and made the small game easy targets.

I guess those animals don’t matter. Isn’t that right, you meddlers?

Walter Palmer did the right thing. Killing lions is good. More people should kill lions, and any other stupid animals they feel like killing.

Have a good cry about that, Kimmel.

(Hat tip: Twitchy)