DC Trawler

Eat Less Salt, New Yorkers, Or Put Up With De Blasio’s Nagging

Good morning, New Yorkers! First things first: My condolences. I wouldn’t want to live there either, which is why I don’t. It’s not very exciting out here in Indiana or Iowa or wherever — one of the square-shaped ones, I think? — but at least I don’t have to live in New York City.

Now that I’ve insulted you, residents of the Big Apple, I have to ask: What would you say is the biggest problem your city faces? Is it crime? The cost of living? Crumbling infrastructure? Excessive sodium in your diet?

Wait. It was that last one, wasn’t it? Well, don’t worry, because your intrepid mayor is on it!

Whew! NYC Dept. of Health:

The sodium warning label passed! Expect to see more warning labels at larger chain restaurants. The State Supreme Court’s decision to uphold the sodium label warning is a win for the health of every New York City resident. New Yorkers will now have the information necessary to make informed and better decisions about their diets and their health…

New York is the first city in the nation to require chain restaurants to post warning labels next to menu items that contain high levels of sodium. The proposal was passed unanimously on September 9, 2015 by the New York City Board of Health, and requires restaurants with 15 or more locations nationwide to post the warning labels starting December 1, 2015. Chain restaurants including Applebee’s, Subway, TGI Friday’s, and the Regal Entertainment Group movie theaters have already begun to implement the sodium warning rule, well before fines begin on March 1, 2016.

Wooooo, fines! Levy those fines, baby. Soak any business that doesn’t think it needs to babysit its customers. Finally, New Yorkers will start to realize that an Applebee’s meal or a tub of movie-theater popcorn isn’t the healthiest option in the world.

Listen to your betters, you peasants:

That salt shaker icon will definitely change the way New Yorkers eat. It needs a snazzy slogan to go with it, though. How about: Sodium? More Like SO DUMB! You can have that one for free, Mr. Mayor.

Eating healthy is a good thing. Therefore, ensuring that you eat healthy is the role of government. Now shut up and finish your unadorned broccoli, you drone. You exist at the sufferance of the state.

Remember when you thought the Bloomberg administration was the low point in nanny-state meddling? Things can always get worse, which is why they usually do.