DC Trawler

Trump Makes Speling Graet Agane

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Donald Trump’s tiny, infant-like hands are hilarious, aren’t they? He has baby carrots for fingers, and he really hates when you point out how ridiculous and inadequate they are. Just Google “short-fingered vulgarian” and enjoy his humiliation.

In addition to being a perpetual sight gag he carries around on the ends of his arms, Trump’s grotesquely malformed digits also cause him to make amusing spelling mistakes online. His stubby little booger-hooks are too small to properly maneuver a keyboard!

For example, after he got clobbered in the GOP debate last night, he fired off these petulant, barely coherent tweets:

Choker… choker… “chocker”? Hey, two out of three ain’t bad!

“Honer.” Isn’t it weird that Donald Trump can’t spell the word that he’s based his whole life around?

And now it’s “leightweight chocker.” A twofer!

Trump really seems to like that one. Say what you want about the guy, but he knows how to commit to a bit:

That’s a keeper. I expect to see bright red “LEIGHTWEIGHT CHOCKER” hats for sale any minute now.

The folks at Merriam-Webster are glad to translate Trump’s stupidity into standard English for GOPe cucks like me:

I thought Obama would be the dumbest president in American history for a really long time. But he’s about to get Trumped!

Update: Ha ha, Trump just deleted all those inept tweets and replaced them with slightly less stupid versions. I can only imagine his shame and humiliation right now. But I have a really good imagination! 🙂

Update: Trump stinks!

Update:

Update: This day just keeps getting better and better: Chris Christie just endorsed Trump! I hope he’s angling for VP, because it’ll be cool to have a guy living in the Naval Observatory who’s never actually observed his navel. And he’ll be able to work on his pretty decent Trump impression…