Donald Trump’s tiny, infant-like hands are hilarious, aren’t they? He has baby carrots for fingers, and he really hates when you point out how ridiculous and inadequate they are. Just Google “short-fingered vulgarian” and enjoy his humiliation.
In addition to being a perpetual sight gag he carries around on the ends of his arms, Trump’s grotesquely malformed digits also cause him to make amusing spelling mistakes online. His stubby little booger-hooks are too small to properly maneuver a keyboard!
For example, after he got clobbered in the GOP debate last night, he fired off these petulant, barely coherent tweets:
Lightweight Marco Rubio was working hard last night. The problem is, he is a choker, and once a choker, always a chocker! Mr. Meltdown.
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) February 26, 2016
Choker… choker… “chocker”? Hey, two out of three ain’t bad!
Wow, every poll said I won the debate last night. Great honer!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) February 26, 2016
“Honer.” Isn’t it weird that Donald Trump can’t spell the word that he’s based his whole life around?
Lying Ted Cruz and leightweight chocker Marco Rubio teamed up last night in a last ditch effort to stop our great movement. They failed!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) February 26, 2016
And now it’s “leightweight chocker.” A twofer!
Trump really seems to like that one. Say what you want about the guy, but he knows how to commit to a bit:
Leightweight chocker Marco Rubio looks like a little boy on stage. Not presidential material!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) February 26, 2016
That’s a keeper. I expect to see bright red “LEIGHTWEIGHT CHOCKER” hats for sale any minute now.
The folks at Merriam-Webster are glad to translate Trump’s stupidity into standard English for GOPe cucks like me:
honer: one that hones (https://t.co/76PlKG8PA6)
leightweight: We have no. idea.
chocker: https://t.co/geeDMqiS4D https://t.co/2km86hZAVQ— Merriam-Webster (@MerriamWebster) February 26, 2016
I thought Obama would be the dumbest president in American history for a really long time. But he’s about to get Trumped!
Update: Ha ha, Trump just deleted all those inept tweets and replaced them with slightly less stupid versions. I can only imagine his shame and humiliation right now. But I have a really good imagination! 🙂
Here's the screenshot for the last one he deleted pic.twitter.com/Tl2E7FvueB
— Greg Pollowitz (@GPollowitz) February 26, 2016
Update: Trump stinks!
Rubio finally gets it. You don't show up to a circus to recite from Conscience of a Conservative.
pic.twitter.com/qWnQ9Zl6Uh— Comfortably Smug (@ComfortablySmug) February 26, 2016
Update:
I wonder how long it'll be till Trumpkins start severing the tips of their fingers, Yakuza-style, so as not to show up the boss?
— Jim Treacher (@jtLOL) February 26, 2016
Update: This day just keeps getting better and better: Chris Christie just endorsed Trump! I hope he’s angling for VP, because it’ll be cool to have a guy living in the Naval Observatory who’s never actually observed his navel. And he’ll be able to work on his pretty decent Trump impression…
"You scratch my back, I'll hire somebody with adult-sized fingers to scratch yours." pic.twitter.com/MqTdEtknMh
— Jim Treacher (@jtLOL) February 26, 2016