DC Trawler

Rubio Crams Bitter Medicine Right Down Trump’s Bloated Throat

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For weeks now, I’ve been on the fence between Rubio and Cruz. They’re the only two viable presidential candidates remaining that I can even imagine voting for, and I’ve tried to give them both a fair hearing. I’m weighing the pros and cons of each one, trying to decide who would have the better chance in November and would do the better job as president. I want to make an informed decision. I’m voting for President of the United States, not a cult leader.

Like I say to anybody who’ll listen: Conservatives vote for the candidate they can live with, liberals vote for the candidate they can’t live without.

I am not a liberal. #NeverTrump.

I’m not endorsing anybody just yet, but over the past few decisive days, Rubio has roared ahead because he’s showing us exactly how to handle a bully. When a creep like Donald Trump attacks you, you don’t set him back on his heels by talking about policy. (Trump doesn’t care about policy. He’ll give you any policy answer he thinks you want to hear, and then five minutes later he’ll say the exact opposite. He makes Obama look absolutely subtle.) And you don’t try to shame a big baby like Trump into behaving like an adult, because if he had fully developed human emotions, nobody ever would’ve heard of him.

No, the only way to handle a guy like Trump is to punch him back, right in the nose. And Rubio just launched a devastating series of jabs:

And the best one yet:

Act like a clown, Mr. Trump, and you get clowned.

And how is The Donald dealing with it, now that somebody’s finally giving him a taste of his own medicine?

Damn, dude, you’d better wash that down with something:

Good one. Hey, at least Trump managed to hang onto that bottle of water with his useless little nano-hands. I mean, what’s going on with that thumb?


Trump has the hands of a concert pianist:


And let’s not even get started on the complete mess above that frog neck of his:

In addition to being fun to watch and participate in, Operation Rickles has really rattled Trump. Now he’s running away from any future debates and making unforced errors like this:

Keep the pressure on, Marco. You’ve taken up residence inside Trump’s big fat head. Plenty of empty room up there.

Update: What Nebraska Sen. Ben Sasse said.