DC Trawler

Bald Supervillain Plots To Destroy California

REUTERS/Stephane Mahe

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Remember when you went to the movies to watch Superman save people, not kill them or stand by helplessly while they’re killed? Those were the days. In Superman: The Movie, the Man of Tomorrow saved the entire state of California from a madman’s evil plan. Lex Luthor’s scheme was to buy up huge tracts of desert land and then hit the San Andreas fault with nuclear missiles. California would tumble into the ocean, creating a new, Luthor-owned West Coast. He was thwarted by Superman, because back then, saving people’s lives was the whole idea of Superman.

As it turns out, there are much simpler ways to destroy the Golden State. KTLA:

Brown’s method of destroying California is much more humane, of course. Instead of drowning everyone, he’ll just drive them all out of the state. No businesses, no people. Then Californians can swarm into other, more responsible states and infect them with leftism, leaving Los Angeles to crumble back into the desert. Out of the ruins of California, many new Californias will bloom like weeds.

[dcquiz] This evil plan will take a lot longer than Luthor’s did, but prolonging the agony is what the Democrats are all about.

Just kidding. When you give people more money, whether they’ve earned it or not, then they have more money. Having more money is good, right? So obviously, this plan will work.

And in the very unlikely event that it doesn’t work? Hey, at least they meant well.