DC Trawler

Michael Moore Punishes North Carolina For Keeping Men Out Of Women’s Restrooms

I had no idea so many fading stars were so eager to peep on ladies visiting the powder room. The latest cause célèbre is to shun the state of North Carolina for ensuring that women can do their business in public facilities without being spied upon by perverts. This is an outrage to a number of formerly famous people who are struggling for relevance in 2016. The list of notable names from yesteryear is growing: Bruce Springsteen, Ringo Starr, Bryan Adams… And now the biggest celebrity of all, if only literally.

Decades ago, the movie Porky’s depicted men invading women’s privacy. Now a real-life Porky wants to make that dream come true:

Take that, Tar Heels! Oh, you say you didn’t want to go see a Michael Moore movie? Well, you can’t anyway.

Not only is this a stunning blow to North Carolina’s economy, but it also reminds people that the corpulent communist has another movie out. Where To Invade Next is perhaps not Moore’s most financially successful film to date, but his brave stance against women’s privacy should definitely put some more gender-neutral butts in seats. In the other 49 states, that is.

I notice that so far it’s only old men who are upset about “the bathroom law.” Now we need some female artists to stand up against women’s rights in North Carolina. Where ya at, gals?

P.S. Alternate headline:

You know, this would explain a lot about Moore’s desperate cries for attention. Reminds me of somebody else who’s been in the news lately. How long until we see the relevance-restoring debut of… Michelle Moore?!?