NO MORE FUN OF ANY KIND: High School Principal Warns Parents About Risky ‘Squirt Gun Assassin’ Game

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The principal at a high school in a pleasant suburb of Pittsburgh is warning parents that students are creating “a very serious safety issue” by playing a game in which the object is to squirt each other with water guns.

The “very dangerous” game that could cause someone to be “tragically injured” is called “Squirt Gun Assassin.” The principal prophesying squirt-gun doom is Kathy Charlton of Hempfield Area Senior High School, reports CBS Pittsburgh.

Last week, Charlton sent a 265-word letter to parents explaining that throngs of Hempfield High students have been playing “Squirt Gun Assassin.”

“In this game, pairs of teens seek out other pairs of students to pay a fee to join the game,” Charlton wrote in her April 13 missive, helpfully laying out the game’s rules. “The two pairs attempt to squirt one another to remove their opponent from play. The game continues as such, until one pair is left and declared the winner.”

An unidentified “Squirt Gun Assassin” commissioner then awards “a fairly large sum of money” to this still-dry, unsullied pair of participants.

“Although the game appears to be a fun and exciting activity for teens, there have been incidents recently that add a very dangerous element,” the principal warned. These “very dangerous” incidents have included high school kids running around near school buses and ambushing each other in and around restaurants and the local mall.

“There have been several situations in which the police have had to become involved,” Charlton proclaimed.

“This game is absolutely not sanctioned by the school district,” she wrote, and “Hempfield Area High School has had no part in the organization or promotion of this game.” Also, students busted playing “Squirt Gun Assassin” on school grounds “will be subject to disciplinary action.”

Charlton added that she hopes parents will tell their high school-age sons and daughters to “discontinue participation in this game” because she and her colleagues “do not want to see anyone tragically injured or harmed.”

In the course of its own investigation of “Squirt Gun Assassin,” CBS Pittsburgh spoke to students and parents.

Freshman John Malinac told the station that only seniors are playing.

Parents appeared reasonably confident that their kids could probably handle a game of squirt-gun tag.

“It’s all in fun and games,” Mike Malinac told CBS Pittsburgh. “As far as I’ve known, no one has ever gotten hurt doing it, but sometimes things get out of hand.”

A second parent, Wendy Eperesi, noted that she had heard that “Squirt Gun Assassin” participants must follow “a bunch of rules” which prevent, for example, entering someone’s house.

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