DC Trawler

Goodbye Clock Kid, Hello Yearbook Girl

ABC7 News screengrab/http://abc7.com/news/yearbook-photo-misnames-student-in-hijab-as-isis-sparking-outrage/1328851/

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In any situation involving any person who believes that there is no God but Allah and Mohammed is his prophet, the victims are always Muslims. Always. Once you understand this single immutable rule, everything else makes sense. Or, at the very least, it helps to explain why otherwise rational people can believe so much nonsense.

Like the idea that the following should be a national news story. Zahira Torres, LA Times:

A high school yearbook is supposed to be a keepsake, but for a Muslim student in Rancho Cucamonga it will be a painful reminder of being misidentified as “Isis Phillips” in a photo that showed her smiling and wearing a hijab.

Bayan Zehlif, a student at Los Osos High School, posted a photo from one of the yearbook’s pages on Twitter and Facebook. The caption below the photo did not have her name but instead identified her as Isis Phillips.

Nobody wants to see the wrong name under their picture in the yearbook. This kid has every right to be upset, and she deserves an explanation.

But, because she’s a Muslim and therefore the designated victim, it can’t just stop there:

The Council on American-Islamic Relations called for a “thorough investigation” in a statement released Sunday, alleging that the incident may not have been the first for the school.

The statement said Zehlif and her family had suffered emotional and psychological distress and that she probably would not return to school until the issue is resolved.

Now CAIR has to get involved. Because as we all know, there’s no greater threat to the Muslim-American community than being misidentified in yearbook photos. And this kid gets to skip school because she’s such a big victim.

If she and her family play their cards right, maybe they’ll get to meet Obama before he gets replaced by whichever old white liberal we end up picking. Maybe they can orchestrate a media tour, where the beaming youngster can complain to Larry Wilmore about being oppressed. That’s how we do things in 2016 America.

(I really do understand where you’re coming from, Trumpkins. I hate this crap too. We just disagree on the solution. He ain’t it.)

This girl is not being oppressed. At worst, she’s the victim of a mean high-school prank. She doesn’t have to like it, and she doesn’t have to shut up about it, but the rest of us don’t have to make a federal case out of it either.

In completely unrelated news, poor little Azim was always picked last when the children played Kill the Jew.