Dear Crooked Hillary…

REUTERS/Lucy Nicholson

Julian Wan Freelance Writer
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This week, self ascribed Anti-Republican Damon Linker of The Week penned “Dear Hillary…,” an open letter lovingly addressed to Hillary Clinton, warning her against underestimating Trump.

His letter is a well crafted — museum ready — example of political punditry failing to grasp the actual threat of Trump. Linker explains Trump’s past tactics and current Gallop polling before giving Hillary a flawed vision of her future challenges.

Throughout the piece, Linker suggests Trump is a brutal competitor, and strong challenger.

“Trump is different.” Linker writes. “He will hit you from the populist far right on immigration and free trade… He will hit you from the far left on the Iraq war, Libya, and Syria… And he will relentlessly, mercilessly attack you (and your husband) personally.”

Yes, Trump will expose Hillary on each of her many weaknesses. A man willing to tie Ted Cruz’ father to political assassination, however groundless, will leverage Bill’s multiracial son Danny Williams at least once this Summer, and Hillary will lose the African American vote faster than you can say ‘Fatherless Child’.

“How will you respond to the onslaught?” Linker asks, “I sure hope the answer is that you have no idea yet.”

I’d bet Hillary has some idea, but it’s to keep calling him sexist and bigoted, which can only capture America’s attention so long before voters start listening to Trump. And Trump loved Art of War so much he named his bestseller Art of the Deal. Trump knows Hillary’s every weakness, and he’s been plotting for a while.

Linker warns that “he’ll try to define you, too — as “Crooked Hillary,” among other things — but your self-definition needs to prevail over the one he tries to pin on you.”

Linker, having read stuff and things and words, is dutifully reporting the obvious. “Crooked Clinton” is already out there, she’s been marked. Her denials of corruption only bond the glue tighter. And her slogan — “I’m with her” — has no positivity or joy, just a blatant reminder of her sex.

Lastly, Linker offers a nugget of strategy.

“You need to show voters by your words and actions that you’re everything Trump is not: sober, smart, informed, sensible, level-headed, presidential.”

Good luck with that! Trump is sober, smart, informed, sensible, level-headed, and presidential. And if Linker or Hillary don’t know this by now, they’ll only swing swords in vain.

Trump is literally sober, having never consumed alcohol. He has a tragic personal story he can reference, and is known for telling his own children to never drink. Meanwhile, Hillary drinks Canadian Crown Royal like this! The imagistic is mind-boggling.

And if by sober, Linker meant serious, sensible, and solemn, there’s always a delicious clip of Clinton barking that Trump will share to millions on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

Trump is smarter than Clinton. Hillary’s own gaffes display this. Trump will simply remind voters that Clinton thanked Mrs. Reagan for pioneering a national AIDS discussion, something even the New York Times cringed at — the same Times that reported that Donald Trump phoned the family of a young AIDS victim in 1990 with condolences. This is how a Democrat loses the LGBT vote, by forgetting history and pandering ad nauseum.

Trump may be less informed than Clinton, but voters care more about how leaders handle information. Clinton stored her sensitive information on an illegal server, got hacked by who-knows-how-many countries, and lied about her Benghazi information to the mothers of dead Americans. Do we really trust Clinton with more sensitive information? Especially when her own hacked emails show Huma Abedin saying Hillary is often confused, and needs careful handling? Sad!

Hillary is not level headed. C’mon Linker, she presented a red reset button to a Russia’s Minister of Foreign Affairs Sergey Lavrov moments after gushing she “worked hard to get the right Russian word.” Sergey skipped no beat to say “You got it wrong” Sad!

And by the way, anyone who gives a giant red nuclear movie prop button to Russians for a diplomatic photo-op is the opposite of level-headed, sober, or smart. These are signs of incompetence.

And don’t forgot the most important moment of the entire election. After a summer of Budweiser rebranded as ‘America’ and Olympic sports, Americans will be drunk on patriotism, winning, and contests. When Hillary and Trump finally share a stage on September 26th at the presidential debate, you’ll see how strong she stands against a man willing to go there on every topic she suppresses.

A summer of entertainment will swiftly transition to a harsh televised clobbering of Hillary’s abundant weaknesses, and tuned in Americans will witness the death throes of Hillary’s lifelong career as a criminally corrupt politician.

Because Linker, you can’t stump the Trump!