DC Trawler

Denver Kindergartener Suspended For Bringing Bubble Gun To School

(Paul Prescott/Shutterstock)

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Everybody knows that guns are bad. If we ban guns, then nobody will have guns and nobody can shoot each other. (Duh! It’s called logic, people.) But did you know that a gun-shaped object doesn’t actually need to emit a projectile at high speed in order to be dangerous?

A Pop Tart with a bite taken out of it can be pointed like a gun, which is scary because guns are scary. A t-shirt with a drawing of a gun printed on it is monstrously terrifying. Even a thumb and forefinger can be harmful to society when they’re manipulated into the shape of a gun. No guns, kids. No guns!

Zero tolerance means zero tolerance. KMGH, Denver:

Go ahead and beat up on the school district if you want, but they did the right thing. All guns are dangerous, even bubble guns. Have you ever been hit with a soap bubble? You don’t want to get that stuff in your eyes, because it really stings. How is a victim supposed to recover from something like that?

Sure, this budding criminal had to miss a day of school, but the experience has taught her a valuable lesson: The people who’ve been entrusted with her care are cowardly, stupid, and small, and what they say goes. She may as well get used to it.

(Hat tip: Twitchy)