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TRAGEDY, MATE! Australian Woman’s Fake Boobs Ruptured In Bike Wreck With Kangaroo

kangaroo Shutterstock/arkomlueng

An Australian woman suffered three broken ribs and a couple of busted breast implants after — she says — a kangaroo attacked her as she was riding a bicycle through the rolling hills of South Australia’s wine country.

The woman, 45-year-old Sharon Heinrich, says she and her friend were cycling the Clare Valley’s Riesling Trail on Wednesday when the diabolical kangaroo attack occurred.

“Just out of the corner of my eye, I’ve seen this kangaroo up on this ledge,” Heinrich explained, according to The Australian. “I thought, ‘he’s cute.'”

The kangaroo was also tough, though — and angry. For reasons that are unclear, Heinrich claims, the mad marsupial attacked her.

“And he’s just jumped me and taken out the side of me,” she said, according to Nine Network Australia. “As I’m falling, I felt him push off me and then he’s flown to Helen and taken her out.”

Heinrich got the worst of it — what with the cracked ribs and the damage to her fake boobs. Later this week, she will undergo surgery to repair her ribs and to refurbish her ruptured breast implants.

Heinrich said she had never been happier to have breast implants than on the day when she said she had her fateful kangaroo encounter.

“They worked as air bags and have been ruptured by the ordeal,” she quipped, according to the Associated Press.

Heinrich’s cycling partner, 47-year-old Helen Slater, was also injured in the kangaroo kerfuffle. Slater suffered whiplash and a concussion.

The injured pair managed to pedal down the road to a store to call an ambulance, Heinrich said.

The Riesling Trail is an “easy” 22-mile bike loop featuring “wildlife and native vegetation” as well as “picnic spots along the way and storyboards, so you can learn about the local history,” according to SouthAustralia.com.

From 2000 and 2010, Australia reportedly witnessed 18 deaths caused by kangaroos. (An indeterminate number of those deaths also involved auto accidents.)

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