The 16 Uber Drivers You’ll Meet This Weekend

[Shutterstock - Prathan Chorruangsak]

Campbell North Contributor
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  1. The one that can’t find you 


    Your phone has been saying “Uber will arrive in 3 minutes” for the past 15. Other drivers have picked you up from this spot before, but no such luck tonight. Give it another 10.

  2. The creepy one 


    “Aw, no one wanted to sit up front with me? Come on, I won’t bite.”

  3. The one that treats you like royalty 


    “There are water bottles in the cupholder and mints in the back seat.” You just hit the jackpot.

  4. The one that takes the longest route possible 


    You’ve driven this a thousand times and know there is a faster way. Once you arrive, you don’t feel guilty about giving out a 1-star rating.

  5. The one that wants to live vicariously through you 


    “Hey, so what are you guys up to tonight? Getting into some crazy stuff?”
    This driver just wants a friend. And to hear about everything you’re doing tonight.

  6. The one that turns the music up to tune you out 


    They do not have time for you and your friends drunken shenanigans.

  7. The one may not actually be licensed to drive


    All you can do is buckle up and hope for the best.

  8. The one that lets you DJ 


    “I have an iPhone jack if anyone wants to play their music.” In the word’s of Will Ferrell, this driver is your boy.

  9. The one that thinks it’s a comedy club 


    With nowhere to go, you’re the perfect guinea pig for their new stand up routine.

  10. The one with road rage 


    You try to stay on their good side by nodding and agreeing with them that it was the other driver’s fault for cutting them off.

  11. The ones that wants to exchange life stories, and gets too distracted


    While pondering the complexities of the shared human experience, this driver has missed the correct turn to your destination 3 times now. You’re late, but at least it was interesting.

  12. The silent one 


    Both a beautiful blessing and an awkward curse – depending on how long it takes to get to your destination.

  13. The one that parents you 


    “Be safe and make good choices tonight!”

  14. The one that doesn’t know where they’re going 


    They’ve abandoned any GPS system and rely on your directions instead – even though you’ve never been to this new restaurant before…

  15. The one with the smelly car 


    Lots of B.O. and no air freshener. You wonder how the driver survives all day in it – maybe they just don’t notice it anymore.

  16. The one that takes it very seriously 


    They don’t mess around, and you appreciate that.


    And no matter how the drive went, once you finally arrive: