“Hello talented person and/or sentient AI program!,” the help-wanted ad begins. “We are looking to hire a staff writer to join us at the Late Show with Stephen Colbert. You’ve already demonstrated an ability to read, so you’re off to a great start.”
Applicants should not be fooled by the light-hearted intro. The rest of the submission packet calls for specific and time-consuming work, starting with two “cold opens,” which are 30 to 60-second pre-taped scenes that air before the credits rolls.
If an applicant is turned down, that doesn’t mean their jokes aren’t fair game for the show, according to Deadline. Lengthy job applications may mean a lot of free material for “The Late Show.”
Applicants must write five monologue jokes, which are like “mouth-tweets for TV,” and one topical news segment. But the segment should be more than just news — it should “build to something that encapsulates what you’ve just told. Think of it as taking the news apart and using the parts to build something even crazier.”
One writer told Deadline that it would take an “experienced late-night TV writer” a week to generate the application material, amounting to a “30-plus-page submission packet.”
But an applicant who preferred to remain anonymous pushed back on that, telling The Daily Caller News Foundation, “If you took 30 pages to write that packet, you’re fucking out of your mind. Maybe half that.”
“And it took me maybe two – three days of solid work to do, but whatever– that’s what submission packets are,” the applicant added. “The worst ones are for shows that haven’t started yet.” The deadline for applications was one week.
Colbert only asks applicants to “be inventive, be funny, be clever, be passionate, be informed, be curious, be careful, be thoughtful, be empathetic, be deliberate, and be yourself” — all for the mere possibility of a position.
“They are preying on the desperation of TV writers looking for work, and asking way too much,” the writer said, according to Deadline. “I’m surprised that a network like CBS would allow this.”
The WGA East, the labor union that has jurisdiction over the show, declined to comment to Deadline.
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Editor’s Note: This article initially reported a “one-day” deadline, and has been updated to include new quotes.
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