My name is Rep. Steven Smith. I represent the 15th District of Georgia, which is located in Valdosta, Georgia. Valdosta is filled with great people who wish I could represent them. Unfortunately, that requires lots of votes, sucking-up and telemarketing for donations, none of which I would ever want to do. I find it a lot easier and more fun to represent folks on Twitter, which costs nothing more than time and a smartphone.
I’ve been playing this role since October 30, 2013, when I bought 5,000 followers from some Russian guy on Fiverr.com and borrowed a stock photo from the internet. Christiane Amanpour fell for the hoax the next day. The account was immediately exposed as a fake (brilliantly deconstructed by Mediaite), and I assumed my little prank was over. It wasn’t. Since that time, I’ve “hired” a great Chief of Staff and together we’ve battled everyone from Rosie O’Donnell to real U.S. Senator Claire McCaskill to reporters from the ultra-biased New York Times.
But everything really exploded when Donald Trump announced he was running. I endorsed Trump the weekend of the Iowa Caucuses — his first Congressional endorsement (you’re welcome, sir). I’ve defended him through multiple manufactured scandals and argued extensively with Hillary supporters. Here are some takeaways from being a fake Republican politician who is obsessively attached to Twitter:
The media focuses on Trump “scandals” because Hillary is too terrible to talk about. The ruling-class Democrats in the media are all too aware that Hillary is a hideous candidate, with an unbelievably long string of scandals (from Whitewater land scams to lying to the victims’ families after Benghazi to the “extremely careless” use of classified documents), combined with ZERO Senate accomplishments in eight years (naming a national monument) and a completely failed tenure as Secretary of State, during which she actively supported the Muslim Brotherhood takeover of Egypt and Islamist chaos in Libya.
Hillary and her husband were also responsible for NAFTA, which resulted in the loss of millions of American manufacturing jobs. The same corporations that benefitted from all of this are the same ones who recently paid Hillary and Bill $225,000+ for worthless speeches that were nothing more than bribes, which in turn were funneled through a sham charity — the Clinton Foundation — which gives less than 3 percent of its proceeds to actual causes.
Oh, and Bill Clinton is a multiple-victim, multiple-decade accused serial rapist, as bad or worse than Bill Cosby.
But none of this will stop @jaketapper or @jmartNYT from smearing lipstick on the pig they kiss every morning with their tabloid-style journalism, intensively covering relatively meaningless issues like whether a small percentage of Trump University students didn’t like the courses or whether a star Trump retweeted looks similar to the Star of David (making Trump, who has a Jewish son-in-law and daughter, anti-Semitic). It’s ridiculous, and they know it. TV and newspapers may be one-way forums of communication, but we can take it right back to them on their Twitter accounts.
Hillary supporters are incredibly ignorant. I have argued with thousands of Hillary supporters. Doing so is a painful and bizarre look into the minds of America’s most ignorant, pop-culture and meme-driven population. No one can ever give you a reason FOR supporting Hillary (I’ve asked). Instead, her supporters’ arguments almost always whittle down to the old standby “You’re racist!” (or sexist, homophobic, etc). It doesn’t pay to get angry with them — it’s a cult, and they’re completely brainwashed.
As every low-information CNN viewer understands, Republicans’ decisions are melanin-dependent. How else can we explain not wanting to let in undocumented male, military-age Muslim refugees from ISIS-controlled territory in Syria for resettlement in transgendered America? How could there be any real downside to illegal immigration on the southern border, besides the unimpeded flow of heroin, cocaine and human trafficking victims into our country by criminal cartels that murder thousands of people each year? The Democrats and media can’t be bothered with these complicated questions, so their view of things like immigration roulette as an “act of love” becomes pitted against the Republicans’ supposed Ku Klux Klan-style hatred for all persons with natural tans.
Twitter provides the opportunity to finally bust up the liberal media narrative and get out the ultimate counter-punch: Hillary Clinton’s history of real racism, which includes calling black youths “super predators” and supporting a crime bill that would lock up hundreds of thousands of African Americans during the 1990s, recently taking over $50,000,000 from Muslim nations that literally kill people for the crime of being gay in the Middle East, and even belonging to a country club in Arkansas that excluded Jews and other minorities. Could you imagine if a Republican did ANY of those things?
Barack Obama is insane. He blamed terrorism on climate change. He says we can’t know the motives of people like the Dallas and Orlando shooters, even though they BOTH stated them clearly. He proposes gun control laws after each major shooting event, even though NONE of his proposals would have stopped ANY of them from happening. He’s constantly doing pop culture things like meeting with actors and sports teams, yet couldn’t be bothered to attend a Supreme Court justice’s funeral. Nothing is funnier than listening to HIM say that the presidency is “not a reality show” in reference to Trump, who accomplished more for this country in one episode of The Apprentice than Obama has in eight years in office. At least we were entertained while Trump wasn’t doubling the national debt.
DNC Chairwoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz can’t take the heat. She blocked me, so I can’t comment on her threads and point out how ridiculous she is anymore. Honorable mentions in the block category include Chuck Todd, Lena Dunham and half of the on-air hosts at MSNBC.
My followers are awesome. It’s a little community of people retweeting each other and keeping information flowing. Hillary hired robots to fight us, but they have no chance of overwhelming the kind of message that thousands of us can put out together each day. She won’t win this fight.