DC Trawler

Old Man Yells At Crowd

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The other night, a creepy loud scowling orange parade float with endlessly flailing paws accepted the Republican Party’s nomination for president. A lot of people had problems with the substance and delivery of the speech, but I was too busy trying to figure out how I got stuck in some nightmarish alternate universe.

I watched the whole thing anyway, mainly because I knew at the end Ivanka would come back out. I didn’t enjoy the speech, and it didn’t convince me that Trump should ever be allowed to kick back and put his shiny Oxfords up on the Resolute desk, but for once it was nice to hear him scream in complete sentences.

For me, the most disturbing moment wasn’t part of his speech. It was how the crowd reacted to it. At one point Mr. Trump was explaining how great he’s going to be for our military vets — he’s gonna be terrific, believe him — and he said this:

My opponent dismissed the VA scandal. One more sign of how out of touch she really is. We are going to ask every Department Head in government to provide a list of wasteful spending projects that we can eliminate in my first 100 days.

The politicians have talked about this for years, but I’m going to do it.

Which is fine. It’s a campaign promise. He may or may not do it if he gets elected, doesn’t really matter. He just has to say it, because that’s what he’s expected to say.

But what got me was the crowd’s response. They chanted:

“Yes you will! Yes you will! Yes you will!”

This is not good. I don’t know if this was a spontaneous outburst or something his campaign lackies planted in the crowd (much like telling them to boo Cruz if he failed to kiss the ring), but it encapsulates everything that’s wrong with this campaign.

Mind you, I didn’t like the chants of “Yes we can!” eight years ago either. It was nonsense, because Obama’s campaign was almost as much of a cult of personality as Trump’s is. But at least those dummies were pretending that they were all in it together. They were pretending to want a leader. They were pretending it was about more than just feeding a narcissist’s ego. “Yes we can.”

“Yes you will” is an entirely different message. They’re saying they don’t want someone to lead them, but to rule them. They want somebody who will use his power to crush his enemies. They want somebody who will throw his weight around (pardon the pun, Donald). They want a strongman. They want their own Obama.

In short: They want a Caesar.

They don’t care about the Constitution. They don’t care about liberty. They don’t care about smaller government. They don’t care about any of the things the Republicans are supposed to care about. Or if they do, they certainly don’t care that he didn’t bring up any of it during his speech. All he did was yell about how great he is and what he’s going to do with all his power.

And then, after it was all over, he caught 40 winks and had a nice breakfast and got back to ranting about Ted Cruz’s dad. Who, quite frankly, might’ve killed Kennedy, there are some serious questions here, believe me, why isn’t anybody talking about this, the National Enquirer wouldn’t print this if there wasn’t something to it, all I’m doing is asking questions…

You people are all out of your minds. You’ve actually made Hillary Clinton a credible candidate for president. I hate her guts and I’m never voting for her, but I can’t blame her for enjoying all this. Out of the whole field of Republicans, this was the one guy she had a chance of beating. And you just served him up to her on a silver platter.

I’m pulling the ripcord on this goddamn parachute, but good luck finding somebody to hold your hand while the plane crashes. The Republican Party is dead, and my alibi is solid. If you want to be angry at somebody, start yelling back at your Cheeto Jesus. He’s the one who’s going to put that cackling scofflaw back in the White House. God help us all.