If The Daily Caller has said it once, we’ve said it 1,000 times: Don’t get all high on a trio of drugs and then ride around country roads — in a bikini — and then run your pink Chevrolet Geo Tracker headlong into a hive of yellow jackets.
A couple in rural Kentucky failed to heed this sage advice. Consequently, the pair got stung — a lot — and now face a raft of charges.
The couple, Noah Elkins and Priscilla Simpson, had the nasty, painful accident on an otherwise uneventful evening in late July, reports Lexington CBS affiliate WKYT-TV.
Elkins, 36, and Simpson, 35, told police they were looking for a good swimming spot on Patton Spur Road — the very backest of back roads — in Laurel County, Kentucky.
Elkins, who was driving, smashed the pink Geo Tracker into a pole. The next thing that happened was that the vehicle ended up in the midst of a busy beehive.
An on-the-scene witness, Gary Lee Anderson, described the scene.
“I just had got done feeding my chickens — watering them and stuff — and I walked back to my house there to get my phone so I could play a video game on it,” Anderson — a man with a very impressive Southern accent — told WKYT-TV. “And all of a sudden I heard a big boom, and I looked back out my door and the electric pole fell and the lines were falling. And the Geo Tracker was sideways into the fence.”
Neighbors along Patton Spur Road in Laurel County are still, well, buzzing about a crash that led to a bee attack. pic.twitter.com/aXuEI3xR9F
— Garrett Wymer (@GarrettWKYT) July 28, 2016
@GarrettWKYT. Lol. This is hilarious. Everyone thinks it’s a spoof!!!
— Dana Chasteen (@Danachas59) July 30, 2016
Elkins and Simpson exited their pink Geo Tracker with great haste. They ran toward the nearest water hose — which belonged to Anderson. An angry swarm of bees followed.
“And the guy came out, screaming and squalling, and running around about like a chicken with its head cut off,” Anderson told the station.
Anderson initially told the couple he didn’t want them using his hose.
“I didn’t know he was getting ate up by bees,” he told WKYT. “I thought he was just high.”
Eventually, Anderson realized it was a hose emergency.
“That girl in that little bikini, she had little red dots all over her,” Anderson added.
“There was a hive of bees that was located there,” Laurel County Sheriff’s Office spokesman Gilbert Acciardo told the CBS affiliate, and the couple “had disturbed them.”
Simpson — the woman in the bikini — admitted to sheriff’s deputies that she and Elkins had consumed a bevy of drugs including Suboxone, Neurontin, and Klonopin, according to local ABC affiliate WTVQ.
Suboxone is a prescription drug used to treat people who are addicted to opiates. It is an opiate itself. People use it to achieve euphoric effects. Neurontin and Klonopin are prescription medications used to prevent seizures. Recreational users take Neurontin to achieve euphoric effects and take Klonopin to obtain a relaxed feeling.
Sheriff’s deputies took Elkins and Simpson to a local hospital to treat “numerous” bee stings and injuries related to the car accident.
The deputies charged Elkins, the driver, with driving under the influence as well as various traffic violations. Simpson was charged with public intoxication.
Anderson said he got stung during the incident, and he imagines Elkins and Simpson suffered substantial itching after the incident.
“Because my ankle’s itching,” he told WKYT. “I think it’s that poison from them bees.”