DC Trawler

Bob Dylan Should Take Out A Restraining Order Against The Nobel Committee

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For the first time I can remember, Bob Dylan is part of a news story in which the least ridiculous person is Bob Dylan.

Ever since the election, the NY Times has been openly grieving the world they thought they knew. Now here’s their Ben Sisario with yet another reason nothing makes sense anymore:

Bob Dylan will not attend the Nobel ceremony in Stockholm next month to accept the Nobel Prize in Literature…

“Yesterday evening the Swedish Academy received a personal letter from Bob Dylan, in which he explained that due to pre-existing commitments, he is unable to travel to Stockholm in December and therefore will not attend the Nobel Prize Ceremony,” the Academy said in a statement. “He underscored, once again, that he feels very honored indeed, wishing that he could receive the prize in person.”

Of course, of course. It’s not you. It’s him.

Look, he’s being polite. He’s letting you down easy. He’s just not that into you.

When one of the people telling you that it’s dumb to give Bob Dylan a Nobel Prize in Literature is Bob Dylan, maybe you should listen. Maybe you should stop embarrassing yourselves. You thought this idea would be cute or clever or whatever you thought it would be, but you were wrong. Giving Dylan a Nobel in Literature is like giving Michael Jordan a Tony Award for Best Aardvark. It’s complete nonsense. Dylan wants no part in your foolishness, ya dopey Swedes.

Good lord, leave the man alone. How do you think it feels?