DC Trawler

Chelsea Handler Doesn’t Know When She’s Beaten, Or Pretty Much Anything Else

(Photo: Netflix screen grab)

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Remember when refusing to accept the results of an election was a bad thing?

Of course, that was before Hillary lost. That was before #ImWithHer became #ImInBellevue. Now things are different. Now America’s leading intellectuals want to change the rules of the game after the buzzer has sounded.

I keep hearing about his petition, but I didn’t bother to look at it until Chelsea told me to. I’m glad I did. This could really change everything, you guys:

On December 19, the Electors of the Electoral College will cast their ballots. If they all vote the way their states voted, Donald Trump will win. However, in 14 of the states in Trump’s column, they can vote for Hillary Clinton without any legal penalty if they choose.

We are calling on the 149 Electors in those states to ignore their states’ votes and cast their ballots for Secretary Clinton…

Secretary Clinton WON THE POPULAR VOTE and should be President.

Hillary won the popular vote. The only reason Trump “won” is because of the Electoral College.

But the Electoral College can actually give the White House to either candidate. So why not use this most undemocratic of our institutions to ensure a democratic result?


Yeah, but did she WIN THE POPULAR VOTE?

As of the time I clicked Publish on this post, the petition just needed 1.3 million more signatures to hit the goal of 6 million. At which point… I dunno. We all have to do what they say, I guess?

The longer it takes these people to accept what just happened to their political party and their whole way of dealing with the world, the more I like it. Besides, this sort of stuff is a relatively harmless outlet for their thwarted rage. Every minute they spend signing their little petitions and tweeting #NotMyPresident and whatnot, that’s a minute they’re not running around burning things and hurting people.

Good effort though, Chelsea Handler. If you really want to make a difference, you should threaten to keep taking your clothes off until Hillary is president. Make us really pay.

P.S. If it weren’t for doublethink, they’d never think at all.