DC Trawler

Scientists Close To Bringing Back The Wooly Mammoth For Some Reason

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As if it’s not bad enough that we’ve got all these animals taking up space on our planet, eating people and leaving big turds everywhere and generally being an annoyance, now the smart fellers want to bring back animals that have been extinct for thousands of years. Great idea, dorks!

Sarah Knapton, The Telegraph:

“Woolly mammoths” could be brought back from extinction within two years, the scientists behind a groundbreaking resurrection project have said.

World-renowned geneticist Prof George Church and his team at Harvard University have been working for the past two years on recreating the DNA blueprint of the mammoth…

By splicing the mammoth genes into the genome of an elephant embryo, the team believe they can recreate a mammoth-elephant hybrid, which would have all the recognisable features of a mammoth.



Why do this? Haven’t these guys ever seen Jurassic Park?

Where will these things live? Who’ll clean up after them? Who’ll pay to have them destroyed when they inevitably turn on their human masters? Why create more problems for ourselves, when we’ve got plenty already?

Imagine being born as some sort of hairy, lumbering genetic freak that’s alien to all other life forms on the planet. Haven’t we learned our lesson with Lena Dunham?

Knock it off, you nerds!