DC Trawler

Tonight, By The Light Of The Waning Moon, Witches Will Cast A Binding Spell On Donald Trump

REUTERS/Mike Blake

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Double, double, toil and trouble
Dems are crawling through the rubble
Politics has got them stumped
But can some witches take down Trump?

We’ve seen people #Resist the Trump administration in a lot of ways. Yelling. Breaking things. Hurting people. Some more yelling. Tweeting unflattering photoshops. Katy Perry videos. Another round of yelling. All sorts of stuff. But until now, nobody has tried the obvious solution: magical spells, like in Doctor Strange!

David Moye, HuffPo:

A document making its rounds among the witch community is asking people who practice the craft to perform a monthly binding ritual until the president is removed from office.

In order to work, the mass spell must be performed at midnight EST on every waning crescent moon…

The spell instructions have gone viral, and there is a group on Facebook dedicated to answering all the questions people may have.

Here’s my question: Why didn’t you guys cast a spell to send Hillary to Wisconsin?

The first ritual is tonight at midnight EST. Synchronize your watches, witches!

If you hate Trump and you’ve got a hankerin’ for some hoodoo, click here for your instructions. Here’s a taste:

This binding spell is open source, and may be modified to fit your preferred spiritual practice or magical system — the critical elements are the simultaneity of the working (midnight, EST—DC, Mar-a-Lago, and Trump Tower NYC time) and the mass energy of participants…

Unflattering photo of Trump (small)…
Tower tarot card (from any deck)
Tiny stub of an orange candle (cheap via Amazon)
Pin or small nail (to inscribe candle)
White candle (any size), representing the element of Fire
Small bowl of water, representing elemental Water
Small bowl of salt, representing elemental Earth
Feather (any), representing the element of Air
Matches or lighter
Ashtray or dish of sand

What, no eye of Newt?

It’s easy to mock these people, because they’re freaking ridiculous. But they have the right to their religious beliefs. Nothing else has been able to stop this guy, so what’s the harm in a bunch of cat ladies whispering over some candles in the middle of the night?

Go get ‘im, girls!