DC Trawler

Wendy’s Starts Phasing Out Human Employees

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#FightFor15 and get #ReplacedByRobots.

I haven’t been to a Wendy’s restaurant in ages, but I might have to go back, now that they’re promising to limit the customer’s interaction with Wendy’s employees. Tara John, Forbes:

Fast-food giant Wendy’s plans to install self-ordering kiosks in around 1,000 of its franchises across the U.S. at the end of this year.

David Trimm, the chief information officer of the Ohio-based company, says an average store will get around three of this machines, the Columbus Dispatch reports. He estimates that the machines, which franchises won’t need to install, will help with labor savings and increased sales.

Isn’t this how Skynet got started?

And by “labor savings,” they mean “not having to pay people more than they’re worth.” The only way you should get $15 an hour to take people’s fast-food orders is if… I dunno, I can’t even think of an appropriate metaphor. That’s above my pay grade!

Fast food is not supposed to be a career. It can be a good way to make some money while you look for a better job, or until you start 11th grade, but your employers don’t owe you anything more than what you’re worth to them. You can march and wave signs all you want, and you can throw around all the hashtags you like. But if you keep pushing it, you’re going to get replaced by a machine that doesn’t need to take a break or switch shifts with Debbie. Then your wage will be $0/hr.

My “job” is no different, of course. Just wait, eventually they’ll come up with a bot that scans current news stories and churns out bad jokes. Hell, maybe they already have. I mean, have you ever seen me and this guy in the same room?