DC Trawler

Sorry, Dems: Chelsea Clinton Is Not Running For Public Office

(Photo: Win McNamee/Getty Images)

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Judging by the steady stream of “news” stories about whatever Chelsea Clinton tweeted about in the last 10 minutes, you’d think she was the Democrats’ last best hope for regaining the power they’ve lost. They didn’t get what they wanted in 2016, but hey, here’s a younger version with a more pronounced vocal fry!

No wonder so many Dems are turning their lonely eyes to Chelsea. After all, look at her qualifications:

  1. She’s the daughter of Bill and Hillary Clinton
  2. Her dad was the president and her mom really wanted to be
  3. Did I mention her parents are famous?

But if you’ve been getting your hopes up about President Chelsea or Mayor Chelsea or even City Councilwoman Chelsea, she’s got some bad news. Here she is clearing the air at Variety, for some reason:

I certainly hope she changes her mind. She’s got all the positive traits the Democrats want (being a woman, having the last name Clinton) without the biggest negative (being Hillary Clinton).

Besides, I could listen to that soothing voice all day.