DC Trawler

Shia Sells Two More Tickets

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Or: Man Down, Box Office Up

Alex Ritman, Hollywood Reporter:

The film [Man Down]… made headlines Tuesday after it was found have opened in the U.K. with just one solitary person buying a cinema ticket…

However, speaking to the cinema manager, The Hollywood Reporter has learned that the film has since tripled its box-office takings.

“I think we’ve sold three tickets in total,” she revealed, adding that she hadn’t “experienced anything like it before.”

I don’t think Shia took my advice and put up a He Will Not Divide Us flag in the theater, because the HWNDU live feed is still dark and nobody has sent me any video of an autistic 4chan kid playing Capture the Flag. It would appear that Shia LaBeouf managed to sell two more tickets based solely on the strength of his performance.

Here’s the trailer:

Looks like fun!

Shia just can’t win. When he puts up a webcam in a public place as a political protest, he draws bigger crowds than he can handle. When one of his movies without giant robots opens, the crowds stay away in droves. You might even say they “Shia way” (shy away).

Is it possible that this is all just part of Shia’s latest art project? He’s making his movie tank on purpose to reveal the hypocrisy of show business and entertainment “journalism”? That’s probably it. He’s a great artist.