The time has come to spread a little freedom to North Korea.
I’m a simple man. I don’t understand much outside of sports, guns, beer and women (and I am generously giving myself the last one), but I understand how to take care of bullies and people who are annoying. That’s the crossroad we’re currently at, and the only option we have left to deliver some freedom via bombs weighing thousands of pounds.
North Korean leader Kim Jung-Un looks like a kid who had to eat his way out of a Twinkie factory, but somehow thinks he has the balls to mess with America. He’s running his mouth to the greatest country on the earth. I laugh when I see his propaganda films meant to threaten America.
Hey fat ass, I have nicer guns lying under my bed as my backup pieces than your crappy AK-47s that your starving soldiers use.
It is the equivalent of me challenging LeBron James to a basketball game. I show up to his house every day running my mouth about how I can beat him and for the most part he just ignores me. Then one day he gets pissed off, walks out side and lights me up on the basketball court just to end the annoying behavior.
Now translate that example from basketball to stealth bombers. It’s practically the same, and before any of you claim I don’t have basketball credentials, just remember I won a state title — although playing time on that team still remains highly classified.
Next, some liberals will claim this war is unnecessary. To quote Ari Gold, “Get the FUCK OUT!!!!” I don’t need your negativity in my life when I’m trying to rock Kim Jong-Un’s world.
The dictatorship in North Korea has starved its people, executed many more and attempted to use fear to control a region. That can all end real quick.
Now, admittedly I am not a military expert. I never served in the military.
But I am an expert in patriotism. For dealing with this situation we might as well assume my patriotism makes me an expert on how to defeat North Korea. Our Air Force could obliterate his Soviet-era planes before any of them got off the ground, hit his artillery sites with stealth bombers, take out the missile sites we know off and deploy special forces to sweep up anything we need on the ground.
Something tells me fat boy Kim Jong Un isn’t going to notice an insertion of special operators while his entire military is getting bombed back to the stone age.
North Korea was entertaining for a little bit, but like all things it’s run it’s course. Now we end the story with some good, old American firepower. Besides, throwing some shitty country into a locker in the name of freedom is a great way to remind the world that America is still king.
Load the guns, fire up the jets and deploy the navy ships. Let’s get the fireworks show over by dinner time. After all, we all have busy lives.