DC Trawler

El Chapo Isn’t Having A Good Time En La Carcel

Photo: REUTERS/Henry Romero/File Photo

In jail, that is. He’s finding that American jails are tougher to escape than Mexican jails are, and that won’t do at all.

Alan Feuer and Joseph Goldstein, NYT:

As the most secure wing of the Metropolitan Correctional Center, the federal jail in Manhattan, 10 South is so austere that a high-ranking mobster who spent several years there once described it as “a torture chamber…”

The most recent — and perhaps most renowned — prisoner of 10 South is Joaquín Guzmán Loera, the Mexican drug lord known as El Chapo. In January, Mr. Guzmán was abruptly flown on a Mexican police jet to an airport on Long Island, then driven to the jail in an armed caravan. Ever since, he has been protesting his conditions of confinement and has taken up an unlikely role as an advocate for prison reform…

He’s now protesting the conditions of his confinement. How bad is it? Here’s how bad it is. TRIGGER WARNING:

Last week, his lawyers filed a motion saying that although he is allowed to watch TV in the rec room, the set is not visible from the exercise bike, forcing him to choose between watching and working out.

And he’s only allowed to watch… nature shows! Have you ever heard of such a thing in your life? The Eighth Amendment to the United States Constitution guarantees this man protection against “cruel and unusual punishments.” If this doesn’t qualify, I don’t know what does.

To make matters worse, El Chapo also complained that the tap water “disturbed his throat,” so he demanded and got an allotment of bottled water. Gee, thanks, America.

But perhaps the greatest dignity of all: He’s not allowed to leave the jail! They’re keeping him locked up like some sort of criminal.

Where’s Sean Penn when you need him?