Last week Marie Claire sent Daily Mail columnist and Good Morning Britain host Piers Morgan to the woodshed for mocking the lard-infested bottom of reality TV star Kim Kardashian.
The women’s mag told him to stop talking about women’s bodies entirely.
Morgan told the ladies to “pipe down” and called them “ludicrous wastrels.”
On Tuesday he was at it again. This time he played brutal fashion critic to female stars who attended the Met Gala.
Spoiler alert to thin-skinned feminists everywhere: You won’t want to hear what he has to say.
But the truth is, Morgan’s assessments are dead on.
Vogue didn’t dare berate the so-called fashionistas. The mag called the partygoers “cleverly dressed.” The fact is that the Met Ball is the venue where stars put their fashion taste on display for the world to see. They have stylists and all the money anyone could possibly want at their disposal.
While Vanity Fair and People praised the stars with bland vanilla stories — People fawned all over Lena Dunham ugly, large, black and red checkered Elizabeth Kennedy dress and called Rihanna a “queen among queens” for her horror flower show — Morgan put female fashion on blast.
That’s putting it mildly.
He called this year’s fundraising fashion event “the most absurd collection of disturbingly attired human beings since the last Hunger Games movie.” He asked pointedly: “What is wrong with these people?”
He called Katy Perry “the bride of Frankestein” and said her dress looked like a “massive oversized red burka.” In what may be the worst of his insults, he wrote that Chrissy Teigen looked like “someone had blown large globules of cocaine all over her” body. In another instance, he insisted that Pharrell William‘s wife, Helen Lasichanh‘s, wore a “giant, padded, hideously unflattering scarlet armless onesie” that made her look like she was hiding her entire family inside her apparel.
He did give her props for coming out at all after delivering triplets earlier this year.
Morgan also made fun of Madonna for the “seaweed spotted gum shield” covering her teeth.
The columnist addressed the cries of sexist that may gust his way, saying, “Let me say that the men were just as bad.”
He spent a few moments destroying Dakota Johnson for wearing a skirt and Sean “Diddy” Combs for donning a “strobe-lit spider web.”
Read his takedown here.