The Mirror

Monkeys With Herpes Are Wandering Near Orlando

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Betsy Rothstein Gossip blogger
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In case you are spending your Spring Break in or around Orlando, beware of monkeys.

Particularly those with herpes.

According to NEWS 6 out of Orlando, the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission has issued an alert about Rhesus macaque monkeys, which can carry the herpes B virus. The B virus is no joke — the CDC says 70 percent of all patients who contract the disease die from it.

Maybe it’s just me, but having to admit to your friends, family and coworkers that you got herpes from a monkey might be worse than dying (joking, I think).

The warning includes this common sense approach to the situation: people should not approach the 12-17 pound animals.

The monkeys have apparently already bitten and scratched “multiple people” in Central Florida.

Oh and there’s this wise advice: “Anyone attacked by a monkey should wash the wound and seek medical attention.”

The monkeys hanging out in Central Florida haven’t given any humans herpes yet.

But just in case you’re attacked, authorities want you to call 888-404-FWCC if you spot one.