DC Trawler

Now Deer Have Developed A Taste For Human Flesh

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I’ve long been criticized for my stance on the animal kingdom. Namely, that they should all be wiped out. (Except for dogs, because they’re our buddies.) Animals are the enemies of mankind, and the longer we tolerate their existence, the more likely they are to turn on us.

Oh, you don’t think so? You still think they’re cute and cuddly, like in Bambi? Yeah, okay, let’s talk about Bambi for a minute. Margi Murphy, The Sun (UK):

Forensic scientists have caught a deer munching on human remains for the first time ever.

The animal was snapped gnawing on bones by a motion-sensitive camera set up by US researchers in Texas…

The corpse had been outside for 182 days.

Well, it’s pretty tough to obey the “Do Not Feed Deer” sign when you’ve been dead for six months.

If these disgusting, verminous deer are going to start targeting us, we’re justified in making a preemptive strike. I know that Arby’s has experimented with venison sandwiches in certain markets, and I hope it goes nationwide. Eat them before they eat us.