DC Trawler

Will ‘Kid Rock’ Be Allowed On The Ballot In Michigan?

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I’m rooting for Kid Rock to run for the Senate, because I firmly believe this is the Darkest Timeline so why not. But it might turn out to be the case that his! name! is! iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiineligible!

Nathan L. Gonzales, Roll Call:

Robert Ritchie may end up challenging Democratic Sen. Debbie Stabenow in Michigan next year, but his stage name, Kid Rock, may not be allowed to appear on the ballot…

If Ritchie were to submit enough valid signatures to make the ballot and indicate that he wanted to be listed as “Kid Rock,” the Michigan Bureau of Elections staff would have to research the question of whether that name would be allowed…

For example, a candidate “may specify that both his or her given name and middle name, or only a middle name, shall appear on the ballot,” or “may specify a name that constitutes a common law name in accordance with the Michigan Department of State Guidelines.” But according to the rules, candidates may not use a “nickname that is not a recognized diminutive of the candidate’s given name.”

Blah, blah, blah, rules, rules, rules. Well, now we know the first dumbass law Senator Rock is gonna change. Thirty-pack of Stroh’s, thirty-pack of vetoes! (Sure, a U.S. senator can’t do that, but it’s not like any of these celebrity candidates know or care anything about the offices they run for.)

One day I hope Kid Rock runs for president and picks Kate Hudson to be his VP. Rock/Hudson 2032!