We have our first trailer for “Fifty Shades Freed,” and it’s downright ridiculous.
The film is the third installment in the wildly successful “Fifty Shades” book series, which plays almost solely to women. The books and films both center around billionaire Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan) and his weird sexual fantasies with his love interest Anastasia Steele (Dakota Johnson). Those aren’t the names of porn stars. Those are the actual names an author put on paper and thought sounded like real people.
Well, we have a new trailer and it’s so far out there I don’t even know where to begin.
The first thing that jumped out at me was at 40 seconds in. Steele pulls out a six-shot Saturday Night Special revolver. First, why does she look so surprised? Has she never seen a weapon before? Second, and much more importantly, who the hell carries a Saturday Night Special revolver these days? Nobody. I own a bunch of guns, I know people with tons of guns and nobody carries a garbage six-shot revolver for self-protection. I honestly started laughing when I saw that moment of the trailer. Absolute laziness on the part of the writers.
Also, did nobody tell the writers, producers and directors the harder you try at something when it comes to film, the likely worse it’s going to be? This is supposed to be a sexually driven story with an incredible power dynamic. That’s not the feeling I got from the trailer. At times I couldn’t tell if I was watching a serious movie trailer or an SNL skit. I lean towards the latter most of the time.
The sad part is we all know this film will be poorly acted, poorly directed and just awful overall, but it’ll still crush it at the box-office because women will come to the theater in droves. I’ll just stick to making fun of this ridiculous book series and film franchise.
Lastly, you’re not living right if you haven’t heard Bill Burr’s take on this whole “50 Shades of Grey” situation. Might be the most honest and accurate take we’ve ever had on the series.