Big Ben Has Invented The Most Airtight Excuse For Never Eating Vitamins

Jena Greene Reporter
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Ben Roethlisberger might have come up with the most genius excuse for never eating vitamins.

In a recent interview with Pittsburgh radio hosts Cook and Poni, the Steelers QB revealed his paranoia about drug testing.

“I know I’ve never put anything in my body. I don’t even put, you know, vitamins and minerals in there really, because I’m so scared,” he explained.

Performance enhancing drugs are probably on the QB’s mind a lot lately, since his teammate Marcus Gilbert was just suspended for using banned substances. It sounds like Big Ben is so terrified of drug testing that he’s not taking any chances with all that fancy spinach and stuff.

Now, I’m not in the NFL so I can’t say this with 100% confidence. But I’d imagine it’s pretty hard to get thrown out of the league for putting kale in your smoothie. I don’t think they’re looking for vitamins and minerals when you do a routine drug test. Testosterones and amphetamines, maybe, but definitely not Vitamin C.

Either way, Big Ben’s not taking any risks and it’s served him pretty well so far.

So if you have any hopes of being in the NFL whatsoever, it’s probably best to say no to the brussels sprouts this Thanksgiving. I’m just looking out for your best interest. Thank me later.