Sports

Is It Acceptable To Skip A Major Christmas Party To Watch A Football Game?

(Photo by Gene Sweeney Jr/Getty Images)

David Hookstead Smoke Room Editor-in-Chief
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I have a full blown crisis on my hands: do I attend a major Christmas party or watch the Wisconsin Badgers against Ohio State in the Big Ten championship?

I love football and I absolutely love parties. Some could even argue those two things are what define large portions of my personality. For the first time in my life they are now at odds with each other, and I’m not sure what to do.

Let’s break down the situation. The Badgers are playing Ohio State Saturday night for a ticket to the college football playoff. They’re undefeated, and have never been to the playoff before. The stakes are clearly as high as they’ve ever been for the program in my lifetime.

On the other hand, this is arguably the biggest party of the year, and it is a complete riot. Some in fact have said the exploits are legendary throughout America’s center of power, and they both start at the same time. You can now see the dilemma. It’s the age old question of what happens when an unstoppable force meets an unmovable object.

Would I be able to live with myself if Wisconsin wins, but I didn’t see it happen? I don’t think any football fan could possibly claim with a clean conscious they could. Would I also be able to live with myself and be happy when I look in the mirror if I skip the party of the year? I’m not sure I can answer these questions.

I’m 25 years old, and this might honestly be the toughest decision I’ve ever had to make. It has me asking myself whether or not there is ever an excuse to miss a football game for a party or vice versa.

Luckily, I think I’ve devised a plan, but it’s as risky as it comes. Even riskier than if Delta Force had to rescue hostages from the Kremlin during a nuclear exchange.

Given my advanced strategizing skills and ability to estimate how Wisconsin will control the clock, I believe there might be a solution. It’s risky, but we literally have no other options right now. If I watch the first half of the game it’ll result in me missing substantial party time, but a chunk will be left over that I can stream on my phone as chug beer. Even riskier, I could watch the whole game and hit the party up afterwards. This is almost too risky to contemplate. I’d need to manage the clock like an expert, and even then I’m not sure it could work.

So, I will continue to contemplate my plan over the next few days, and I’m totally open to advice from the loyal readers. At this point in time I don’t think anything is too crazy. All options must be on the table to formulate a plan that allows for the party of the year and football.

Stay tuned because things are about to get wild.

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